I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
