garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
