I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
