I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Randomize
