Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
