Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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