You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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