i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
