He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
