You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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