Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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