i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
