Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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