lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
