When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
