you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize