This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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