This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize