Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
