oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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