Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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