somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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