i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
