i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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