Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
