I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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