so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize