Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
What happened to fro yo and sex?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
