trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
