I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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