Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both

  (650): View more from California

  i think otters can do that

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  (408): i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both (650): i think otters can do that http://tfl.nu/vhzk
  Replies (18) Good night (3143) Bad night (456)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets

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  (502): sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets http://tfl.nu/cbq3
  Replies (6) Good night (2479) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?

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  (910): An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win? http://tfl.nu/qcgn
  Replies (25) Good night (780) Bad night (4351) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.

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  (318): I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line. http://tfl.nu/xyp6
  Replies (9) Good night (4180) Bad night (605) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket

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  (601): she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket http://tfl.nu/j6rw
  Replies (8) Good night (3556) Bad night (908) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.

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  (650): she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out. http://tfl.nu/w208
  Replies (17) Good night (1273) Bad night (8794) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.

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  (515): Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake. http://tfl.nu/j6cx
  Replies (3) Good night (2507) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.

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  (804): Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick. http://tfl.nu/rxn3
  Replies (17) Good night (4251) Bad night (867) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room

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  (+61): can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room http://tfl.nu/484e
  Replies (10) Good night (2718) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!

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  (+64): He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?! http://tfl.nu/rdvw
  Replies (7) Good night (883) Bad night (1388) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?

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  (207): Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims? http://tfl.nu/se1q
  Replies (7) Good night (1414) Bad night (416) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.

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  (847): I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic. http://tfl.nu/aejw
  Replies (8) Good night (1047) Bad night (679) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.

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  (973): They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard. http://tfl.nu/pxmg
  Replies (1) Good night (949) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.

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  (585): He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going. http://tfl.nu/c63w
  Replies (7) Good night (1419) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.

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  (727): Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit. http://tfl.nu/berc
  Replies (5) Good night (1439) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt

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