Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.