I just made out with a guy for $7.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.