Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?