You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I supernannyed him into submission
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
