fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am one with the molecules
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
