Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
