When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
