If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
