Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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