Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
