I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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