I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
