If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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