The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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