can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
