hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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