Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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