just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
