What a fucking waste of an outfit
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
