If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize