have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
