i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
