Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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