what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
