Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
