I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
