I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
