is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
