so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
